Funny Real Estate Quotes
Somewhere deep in the lonely night, a newly-broke crypto bro shivers and nods in tearful agreement.
But then Oprah shouts, “Look under your chair! Everybody gets…a brand new house!”
What? Haven’t you seen the hidden special interviews on the Titantic DVD?
Maori rugby players and seasoned bull riders bow before the almighty real estate agent. Jai alai pros and base jumpers praise the fearlessness of realtors.
Well, that’s about as quippy as it gets.
I bet some of you can relate to this humorous little real estate quote from the daughter of the 45th US president.
This real estate quote is both funny and eye-opening because John Paulson said this after the last housing bubble burst.
The renowned American essayist has a point.
Ray Brown was a jazz musician and double bassist. When even jazz musicians trumpet the advantages of real estate, it’s probably time to listen like Louis Armstrong just took the stage.
That’s a pretty funny real estate quote. Can’t argue with that.
Inspiring Real Estate Quotes
Armstrong Williams is a leading voice for African American investment, especially in real estate.
There’s no doubt that the founder of Keller Williams has a few great quotes about real estate. This one puts the spotlight on you.
You might have to raise that valuation price today to make the same point, but the message of this little nugget still hold true.
Johnny Isakson built one of the largest independent real estate companies in U.S. Maybe international Nat Geo photographers learn a bit more about these issues, but who’s keeping score?
Smart Real Estate Quotes
As the CEO of Engle Volkers, Anthony Hitt has one of the most impressive track records in all of real estate.
Akira Mori owns and operates 156 office buildings. He is the 5th wealthiest individual in Japan.
The man who picked America up off its feet in the wake of the Great Depression is surely worth an attentive ear.
Jeff Greene is the 179th richest person in the U.S. He earned all of it through real estate investment.
I’m sure there are some crypto bros jeering in the background somewhere, but I doubt Marshall would even bother to roll over in his grave.
If you didn’t know, Mr. Fields was the founder of the upscale department store Marshall Fields & Company.
Motivating Real Estate Quotes
If he were alive today, Andrew Carnegie’s wealth would be more than 256 billion dollars.
John Paulson bet against the last real estate bubble and made billions. He has made more money than any other money manager in wall street history.
Maybe we don’t advocate lending money to relatives to buy a home in every case, but you certainly get his point.
Will Rogers is an investor and TV personality.
Historical Real Estate Quotes
Anthony Trollope was a poor titled landowner in the tradition of feudal Europe.
Benjamin Franklin was a writer, inventor, investor, and founding father.
The list of US presidents encourage people to invest in real estate seems never-ending. There’s probably something to that 😉
John Stuart was the most influential english language professor of the 19th century.
John Jacob Astor the IV was the richest man to die aboard the Titantic.
Real Estate Investing Quotes
Glickman was a New York-based real estate investor and philanthropist. He’s well known for his inspirational quotes on real estate investing.
Robert Toru Kiyosaki is an American entrepreneur, businessman and author. Kiyosaki is the founder of Rich Global LLC and the Rich Dad Company, a private financial education company that provides personal finance and business education to people through books and videos.
Barbara Ann Corcoran is an American businesswoman, investor, syndicated columnist, and television personality. She founded The Corcoran Group, a real estate brokerage in New York City, which she sold to NRT for $66 million in 2001 and shortly thereafter exited the company.
Koki Adasi of Koki & Associates, Inc. and Compass Real Estate serves the D.C. area.
Quotes About Real Estate Agents
Hopefully your familiar with the hit series Modern Family. The father, Phil, remains a dedicated real estate agent despite more than a few mishaps.
Quotes for Business Cards
The best quotes for real estate business cards are short and impactful. Here are some great examples.
Author of the Little Women book series, Laura Ingalls Wilder hits the proverbial nail on the head. Her wise little quote makes for a personal touch to a residential real estate business card.
You’ve heard it a thousand times, but it’s a classic for a reason.
Brian Buffini, one of the nation’s top realtors, has trained over 3 million business professionals worldwide.
Mill was a 19th-century philosopher and extremely influential political economist. This little quote would be great for commercial real estate agents or those catering to investment properties.
Quotes for Social Media
We sometimes use this quote on client websites to pivot to a contact Call-To-Action. Something like, “The same is true of buying a home. Unless you have a time machine, get in touch today.”
This social media real estate quote is more on the sentimental side. It offers a personal and warm touch.
Bold and humorous, this anonymous quote is sure to stay tattooed on your client’s minds. It says, “Give my Chernobyl as a listing, I dare you.”
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History of the Top 50 Real Estate Quotes
The history of Abraham Lincolns real estate quote
Abraham Lincoln was the 16th President of the United States. Born February 12th in 1809, he was killed by an assassin’s bullet April 15th, 1865. Lincoln has gone down in history as a humanitarian, a politician and while it is often overlooked as a firm defender of the average Americans right and NEED to own land. He wrote in numerous places about the state’s responsibility to provide a homestead to the average American. I think this would be translated today into every American have the ability to OWN a home. This Abraham Lincoln quote is one of my favorites.
Abraham Lincoln Land Quote:
The history of Akira Mori’s Real Estate Quote
Akira Mori is the President and CEO of Mori Trust. One of the handful of people that made this list that is still alive. You can read the complicated history of the Mori brothers on the link I provided. Akira’s company Mori Trust owns and operates 67 buildings, manages 89 additional buildings in both the residential and commercial real estate space. As of this writing, he is the 5th wealthiest person in Japan with a net worth of approximately 5 billion. The fact that most of that wealth was derived from the real estate business qualify’s him to be on this list.
The history of Andrew Carnegie Real Estate Quote
Andrew Carnegie was THE steel magnate. He founded Carnage Steel Company which would eventually become part of the world’s first billion-dollar corporation U.S. Steel. In today’s dollars, his wealth would exceed 256 BILLION making him the wealthiest man in the world by a large margin. He established libraries, colleges and wrote books on the responsibility of the wealthy. He also had a few things to say about real estate and investing. You get two Andrew Carnegie quotes. They are counted as one.
The story behind Anthony Hitt’s real estate quote
Anthony Hitt has been Engel and Volkers CEO since January 21st,2014. Anthony was previously the COO and oversaw a 68% growth in sales for the markets he was responsible for. This quote is very close to the timeless Zig Ziglar quote “Give enough other people what they want and you will always get what you want”. But great quotes especially ones about Real Estate are great because they are TRUE.
The history of Anthony Trollope’s real estate quote
Anthony Trollope’s famous quote about land and real estate can be found all over the internet. It is one of the most popular quotes about real estate on Pinterest, Instagram, and other social media platforms. Trollope was the son of a Barrister. His family had land that was bequest by title and the ancient feudal system that is still prevalent in Europe. Trollope’s family had little money to go with the title and much of the novelist’s childhood and young adult years were full of compromises due to lack of funds. No surprise that Trollope’s literary works touched on the subject of landed gentry with little other means.
Armstrong Williams the history of his real estate quote.
Armstrong Williams is one of the most recognizable African American voices in both media and government. Ben Carson sought and procured his endorsement for Donald Trump candidacy. Armstrong’s views are conservative, and recently he has suffered a setback in the court of public opinion due to a harassment scandal involving a man. Regardless of his current misfortunes he still has one of the most famous real estate quotes currently circulating.
Benjamin Franklin best known as a founding father was also the nation’s first successful newspaper man. He printed “Poor Richards Almanac” for 25 consecutive years and was America’s first millionaire. First of his investments? Real Estate.
William Jennings Bryan
William Jennings Bryan was a Democratic presidential nominee in 1896,1900 and 1908. He lost every bid. His cross of gold speech and its points of view are still echoed in politics today. Key political elements in his platform? The government should protect individuals and the democratic process against monopolistic corporations. Failing to procure the nation’s highest office he became a newspaper man and fervently encouraged the average American investor to purchase real estate.
Unattributed Real Estate Quote
Unattributed Real Estate Quote: While this Real Estate quote can not be traced back to any one person it is nonetheless used by real estate salespeople all over the world.
Judy Garland was a multitalented performer. During her career she was virtually famous in every medium, a performer could be famous in. It is doubtful the average American realizes it was her inspired performance as Dorothy in 1939’s Wizard Of OZ that made “there’s no place like home” the most famous real estate quote of our century. Whether they know it or not this quote is in one out of every five homes in America(est).
Real Estate is a contact sport
This quote has been adapted from “sales is a contact sport”. Everyone from Top Hopkins to Og Mandino has quoted variations. There is no arguing this real estate quote can be found everywhere. Here is our version.
Franklin D Roosevelt
Franklin D Roosevelt stands alone in the annals of history. He was our president FOUR times. He expanded the powers of government through the “new deal” and shepherded the American people through a depression and a world war. Many consider him the greatest president of the modern era. America’s confidence in both wall street and the stock market was at an all-time low during his presidency. So he told the American people to invest in real estate.
Gary W. Keller
Gary W. Keller is the founder of Keller Willaims Realty International the largest real estate company in the world by agent count. I think he is MORE than qualified to be on this list. If you’re in the real estate business you already know who he is. He also is one of the most quoted real estate professionals in the world. This is MY favorite Gary Keller quote.
Grover Cleveland ushered in the modern political era by fiercely protecting the executive branch. Grover earned the nickname the “guardian president” by using his veto power a record breaking 414 times in a single term. At the time that was twice as much as any presidential predecessor. Conservative in every way Grover Cleveland was often quoted on the topic of real estate and land investment. This quote still makes the rounds and is as true today as it was in 1885.
Harriet Martineau was one of the earliest sociologists. Harriet worked as a journalist and a novelist. She is a prominent topic amongst women’s studies in today’s universities. Her key contribution to the field of sociology was the assertion that if one was going to study society, one must focus on all aspects of it. She also left us this nifty quote about owning land.
Hebrew Proverb. For those of you that has a Jewish grandmother, you’ve already heard this one. If you have an internet connection or a Pinterest account you’ve READ this one.
Hazrat Inayat Khan
Hazrat Inayat Khan was the founder of the Sufi order in the west. He passed his message of “Sufism” through music. He is quoted many times mostly by students of spiritualism. One of his quotes is widely used by homeowners and real estate professionals. You will find it unattributed throughout the web.
Ivanka Trump has been a designer and a real estate executive. At 35 she has expressed some views that are radically different than Donald Trumps. Along the way, she has managed to coin one of the internet’s most popular real estate quotes.
J.Paul Getty is somewhat notoriously America’s first billionaire. His legacy lives on today both philanthropically and commercially. Shell Oil company is what remains of the oil company he founded while the Getty foundation runs one of the great museums of the world. J.Paul Getty wrote a great deal to the young businessmen of the world. While a little long this is MY favorite real estate quote by J.Paul Getty.
Jeff Greene the 179th richest man in the U.S. Jeff Greene made his money through real estate investment. Perhaps he has something to say on the topic we should listen too. Jeff Greene’s real estate quote?
Jesse H. Jones
Jesse H. Jones was responsible for the reconstruction finance company. This was a government corporation that spent 50 billion dollars from 1932 and 1957 helping the country cover from a debilitating depression. He is also the founder of the Texas Commerce bank that was acquired by JP. Morgan Chase in 2008. I guess what I am saying is he knew a thing or two about real estate. The Jesse H. Jones real estate quote that is currently traveling around the interwebs is listed below.
Jim Rohn help found the “motivational movement” turning inspiration and philosophy into a business. He mentored the founders of Herbalife and Tony Robbins among others. My favorite Jim Rohn real estate quote? See for yourself.
John D. Rockefeller
John D. Rockefeller is best known as the founder of standard oil. His business practices were harsh and lead to anti-trust laws that are still in use today. The most famous of which is the Sherman-Clayton Anti-Trust act. Before he died in 1937 John D Rockefeller had given away over 500 million and established among other institutions Rockefeller University. A good portion of the oil business revolved around land usage and Rockefeller is more than qualified to coin a real estate quote or two.
John Paulson became an investment superstar seemingly overnight when he shorted the US subprime mortgage market in 2008. His hedge fund has hit turbulent times since 2008 proving that John is not omniscient. The 4 billion dollars he made using credit default swaps and the ensuing fame including a movie starring some of Hollywood’s biggest stars also prove sometimes you only need to be right once. John has some solid advice, and this meme which is already all over the internet is pithy.
John Paulson made our list twice. Which Ironic because he has made a series of bad bets that have led to a 26 BILLION dollar decline in his hedge fund.. However, when you make more money than any other money manager in the HISTORY of wall street..the internet will love you even if your investors do not.
John Stuart Mill
John Stuart Mill according to Standford was the most influential English language philosopher of the nineteenth century. A noted liberal he once mused out loud about the NATURE of property ownership. The musing was recorded for posterity and 140 years later someone turned it into a quote. I decided to do a little bit of tongue and cheek with one of the internet’s most viral property ownership quotes.
John Jacob Astor the IV
Of all the things John Jacob Astor the IV expected to be remembered for I am certain it wasn’t being known as the richest man to die on the RMS Titanic. Or the fact that an American movie director by the name of James Cameron used a fictional version of him as his protagonist in one of the most watched films in history Titanic. The real John Astor was an inventor and real estate investor. At the time of John Astor’s death, he was worth 87 million making him one of the richest men of his era.
Johhny Isakson served in the national guard, the house of representatives and the senate. Concurrently he was the President of Northside Realty from 1979 until 2011 watching it grow to become one of the largest independent real estate companies in the SouthEast and one of the largest in the nation. This is a man that has dedicated himself quietly to public service and helping others. His quote about real estate reflects that.
Louis J. Glickman
Louis J. Glickman was a Billionaire Real Estate investor born and raised in New York. Glickman donated millions to institutions in New York. Oddly he is most famous for a deal he DIDN’T do which was buying Carnegie hall in 1959 when it’s current lease was set to expire. Later his son would say that Glickman only attained an option to buy the building for the free publicity it would generate. Years after his death he was attributed with the quote below.
Mark Twain is arguably one of America’s most famous authors and satirists. He wrote such American classics as The Adventures of Tom Sawyer and The adventures of Huckleberry Finn. Mark Twain is the only novelist on this list that still has website despite that fact he’s been dead 100+ years. Mark Twain was born Samuel Clemens and grew up poor in Mississippi. While never attaining much of it himself he always had an appreciation for the plantations of his home state. He wrote of them often and as he watched the dawn of industrialization coined the quote “Buy land they aren’t making any more of it”.
Marshall Fields founded an upscale department store chain in Chicago Illinois. The chain was acquired by Macy’s in 2005 and the former Marshall Fileds flagship store in Illinois is now one of four Macy’s flagship stores. Marshall Fields partnered with land developers many times during his career. His original flagship store was burned down in the great Chicago fire of 1873. He was forced to sell the land it resided on to the Singer Sewing Machine Company and then lease the same land back as he rebuilt his store from the ground up. It’s no surprise that Marshall Fields would eventually be quoted as saying “Buying Real Estate is not only the best way, The quickest way, the safest way but the only way to become wealthy“.
Murphy's Law for Landlords
Murphy’s Law for Landlords. This quote isn’t a quote at all but an axiom. Here are some great additions from muphyslaw.net that didn’t make the cut.
- The water heater pump that fails will only do so after 5:00 P.M. on Friday evening when every tenant in the building is having a dinner party.
- The next day, the only supplier in town that stocks parts for the pump tell you that the widget needed to fix it is in a warehouse in Cleveland and the warehousemen there have been on strike for seventeen weeks.
Oprah Winfrey is best known for her talk show that ran from 1986 through 2011. She has influenced generations of authors, artists, and political figures. Dr.Phil, Dr. Oz and Suze Orman all owe their success to Oprah Winfrey. She has given some much great advice on so many topics. This is the Oprah Winfrey quote about real estate that made the list of the greatest of all time “I will forever believe that buying a home is a great investment. Why? Becuase you can’t live in a stock certificate. You can’t live in a mutual fund”.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Ralph Waldo Emerson was an American Poet and philosopher. Born in 1802 and passing in 1882 he challenged traditional thought in numerous books and essays. Emerson coined the term “trust thyself” and was a literary mentor to Bronson Alcott, Henery David Thoreau, and W.E. Channing. Emerson refused to buy into the church’s doctrine of “evil” and is widely regarded as the precursor to today’s optimists and “positive thinkers.” This quote “A man complained that on his way home to dinner he had every day to pass through that long field of his neighbors. I advised him to buy it and it would never seem long again.” challenges the reader to turn a negative into a positive.
Ray Brown helped define the modern jazz rhythm. He was briefly married to Ella Fitzgerald and even after the short relationship remained close friends and musical collaborators. Ray Browns played with Duke Ellington, Ella Fitzgerald and is a founding member of the Oscar Peterson Trio. Herb Ellis is quoted as saying ” Ray Brown is in a class all by himself. There is no other bassist in the world for me”. Ray Brown is not a lyricist or writer of note. During an interview many years ago he did wryly observe “The best time to buy a home is always five years ago.”
Robert Kiyosaki is the author of “Rich Dad Poor Dad.” The fictional story of a poor dad vs. a rich one turned him into an overnight Real Estate Investment Advisor for the masses. Like many of the names on this list, Robert has had some financial up’s and downs. He remains widely followed and can still be found as a keynote speaker at real estate investing events around the world. Perhaps his sagest advice is the following quote “Real Estate investing, even on a very small scale, remains a tried and true means of building an individual’s cash flow and wealth.”
Sam Shepard is an American Actor, Playwright, Screenwriter, and director. Sam Shepard has been a quiet influence in almost every facet of American culture. His play The unseen hand would inspire Richard O’Briens stage musical The Rocky Horror Picture Show. You can still catch this cult classic here in California at midnight in some independently owned theaters. There isn’t an actor working that hasn’t starred in one of Shepards 41 plays. He has been honored by universities and institutions around the world for his contribution to the arts. He’s also made a little bit of money and when asked about investment strategy here’s what he had to say “Everyone wants a piece of land. It’s the only sure investment. It can never depreciate like a car or washing machine.Land will only double its value in ten years.”
Sarah Beeny is an English property developer and Television personality. Her current success as a small screen star was accidental. She attended a “hen party, ” and her sister in law asked if should be willing to undertake a screen test. Taking advice, her stepmother provided and never turning away from an opportunity she was cast in the successful series property ladder. Her job is LITERALLY to give advice to aspiring property developers. I like this quote “In any market, in any country, there are developers who make money. So I say to this doom and gloom, but there will always be people who make money. Because people always want homes.”
Suze Orman is an American Author and Television personality. She has written several books on the topic of personal finance. She deals with the MENTALITY of success, money and investing in much of her writing as opposed to the mechanics. My favorite Suze Orman quote is the only one this list to touch on emotion. “Owning a home is a keystone of wealth both financial affluence and emotional security.”
National Park Service
National Park Service personnel have dotted hundreds of miles of trails with this exact sign. If you’ve taken a hike in one the U.S’s national parks your already familiar with the quote “Take care of the land. Someday you’ll be apart of it.”
Tamir Sapir Is a real estate billionaire. He got his start by bartering for fertilizer with the Soviets and making millions doing it. He then invested in New York Real Estate. Currently, worth 1.4 billion he put his money where his mouth is. In this case “If you’re not going to put your money into real estate, Where else?”
Theodore Roosevelt 26th president of the United States. Explorer, soldier, naturalist he is widely considered the greatest modern president. No better evidence of this exists than Mount Rushmore. Being carved into a mountain alongside Washington, Jefferson, and Lincoln is high praise indeed. My favorite Theodore Roosevelt quote about real estate? “Every Person who invests in well-selected real estate, in a growing section of a prosperous community. Adopts the surest and safest method of becoming independent. For real estate is the basis of wealth.”
Thomas Drummond born Scottish and died Irish. As a surveyor by trade, his presence on this list is somewhat anomalous. He was mistakenly credited with the invention of the limelight. He DID invent the Drummond light. What is unmistakably his historical contribution is using the Drummond light for purposes of surveying land. A practice that is maintained to this very day. Drummond was under secretary of Ireland from 1835 to 1840 when he passed from complications related to stress. Put another way; he worked himself to death. Making this Thomas Drummond quote poetic “Property has its duties as well as its rights.”
Thomas Jefferson is a founding father and the principle author of the declaration of independence. He doubled the countries territory with the Louisiana purchase. Taking that into consideration it’s funny that one of Thomas Jeffersons famous quotes about owning land is “The small landholders are the most precious part of the state.”
Walter Lippman is one of the most famous political commentators in modern history. One of his most notable books that’s gaining in popularity despite having been written in 1922 is Public Opinion. In it, Lippman surmises that ordinary citizens cannot judge public opinion correctly since the speed and condensation of mass media lend to interpretations as opposed to facts. It makes this Walter Lippman quote particularly poignant. “Private property was the original source of freedom. It is still its main bulwark.”