50 Inspiring and Funny Real Estate Quotes for Agents

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Real estate, they say, is more than just bricks and mortar; it’s a canvas for dreams, a stage for life’s adventures, and a treasure trove of wisdom.

From the poignant to the humorous, the motivational to the clever, the world of real estate has spawned a wealth of unforgettable quotes that encapsulate the essence of property, homeownership, and investment.

So, whether you’re a seasoned real estate mogul or someone dreaming of your very first home, prepare to be inspired, amused, and enlightened as we delve into a collection of quotes that celebrate the world of real estate.

For more entertaining content, check out 120 Funny, Relatable, and Spicy Real Estate Memes.

Motivating Real Estate Quotes

"Ninety percent of all millionaires become so through owning real estate."

If he were alive today, Andrew Carnegie’s wealth would be more than 256 billion dollars.

"If you don't own a home, buy one. If you own a home, buy another one. If you own two homes buy a third. And lend your relatives the money to buy a home."

John Paulson bet against the last real estate bubble and made billions. He has made more money than any other money manager in wall street history.

Maybe we don’t advocate lending money to relatives to buy a home in every case, but you certainly get his point.

"Don’t wait to buy real estate. Buy real estate and wait."

Will Rogers is an investor and TV personality. 

Funny Real Estate Quotes

"I will forever believe that buying a home is a great investment. Why? Because you can't live in a stock certificate. You can't live in a mutual fund."

Somewhere deep in the lonely night, a newly-broke crypto bro shivers and nods in tearful agreement.

crypto bro crying because of real estate quotes

But then Oprah shouts, “Look under your chair! Everybody gets…a brand new house!”

"I would still invest in real estate over anything. More than improving binocular technology, inventing walkie talkies, or upgrading ship engineering."

What? Haven’t you seen the hidden special interviews on the Titantic DVD? 

"Real estate is a contact sport."

Maori rugby players and seasoned bull riders bow before the almighty real estate agent. Jai alai pros and base jumpers praise the fearlessness of realtors.

"Buy land, they’re not making it anymore."

Well, that’s about as quippy as it gets.

"Real estate is my life. It is my day job if you will. But it consumes my nights and weekends as well."

I bet some of you can relate to this humorous little real estate quote from the daughter of the 45th US president. 

"I still think buying a home is the best investment any individual can make."

This real estate quote is both funny and eye-opening because John Paulson said this after the last housing bubble burst. 

"A man complained that on his way home to dinner he had every day to pass through that long field of his neighbors. I advised him to buy it and it would never seem long again."

The renowned American essayist has a point.

"The best time to buy a home is always five years ago."

Ray Brown was a jazz musician and double bassist. When even jazz musicians trumpet the advantages of real estate, it’s probably time to listen like Louis Armstrong just took the stage.

"Take care of the land. Someday you’ll be a part of it."

That’s a pretty funny real estate quote. Can’t argue with that. 

Inspiring Real Estate Quotes

"Now one thing I tell everyone is, "Learn about real estate." Repeat after me. Real Estate provides the highest returns, the greatest values, and the least risk."

Armstrong Williams is a leading voice for African American investment, especially in real estate.

"Remember, anyone can do it. But not everyone will. The only question is: will you?"

There’s no doubt that the founder of Keller Williams has a few great quotes about real estate. This one puts the spotlight on you. 

"Most homes valued at over $250,000 have a library. That should tell you something."

You might have to raise that valuation price today to make the same point, but the message of this little nugget still hold true. 

In the real estate business, you learn more about people, and you learn more about community issues, you learn more about life. You learn more about the impact of government, probably than any other profession that I know of.

Johnny Isakson built one of the largest independent real estate companies in U.S. Maybe international Nat Geo photographers learn a bit more about these issues, but who’s keeping score?

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Smart Real Estate Quotes

"To be successful in real estate, you must always and consistently put your clients' best interests first. When you do, personal needs will be realized beyond your greatest expectations."

As the CEO of Engle Volkers, Anthony Hitt has one of the most impressive track records in all of real estate.

"In my experience, in the real-estate business past success stories are generally not applicable to new situations. We must continually reinvent ourselves, responding to changing times with innovative new business models."

Akira Mori owns and operates 156 office buildings. He is the 5th wealthiest individual in Japan.

"Real estate cannot be lost or stolen nor can it be carried away. Purchased with common sense, paid for in full, and managed with reasonable care it is about the safest investment in the world."

The man who picked America up off its feet in the wake of the Great Depression is surely worth an attentive ear. 

"In real estate, you make 10% of your money because you're a genius and 90% because you catch a great wave."

Jeff Greene is the 179th richest person in the U.S. He earned all of it through real estate investment.

"Buying real estate is not the best way, the quickest way, the safest way, but the only way to become wealthy."

I’m sure there are some crypto bros jeering in the background somewhere, but I doubt Marshall would even bother to roll over in his grave.

If you didn’t know, Mr. Fields was the founder of the upscale department store Marshall Fields & Company.

Historical Real Estate Quotes

"It is a comfortable feeling to know that you stand on your own ground. Land is about the only thing that can't fly away."

Anthony Trollope was a poor titled landowner in the tradition of feudal Europe.

"A little house well filled, A little land well till'd, and a little wife well will'd are great riches."

Benjamin Franklin was a writer, inventor, investor, and founding father.

"No investment on earth is so safe, so sure, so certain to enrich its owner as undeveloped realty. I always advise my friends to place their savings in realty near some growing city. There is no such savings bank anywhere."

The list of US presidents encourage people to invest in real estate seems never-ending. There’s probably something to that 😉

"Landlords grow rich in their sleep."

John Stuart was the most influential english language professor of the 19th century.

"Buy on the fringe and wait. Buy land near a growing city! Buy real estate when other people want to sell. Hold what you buy."

John Jacob Astor the IV was the richest man to die aboard the Titantic. 

Real Estate Investing Quotes

"The best investment on earth is earth."

Glickman was a New York-based real estate investor and philanthropist. He’s well known for his inspirational quotes on real estate investing.

"Real estate investing, even on a very small scale, remains a tried and true means of building an individual's cash flow and wealth."

Robert Toru Kiyosaki is an American entrepreneur, businessman and author. Kiyosaki is the founder of Rich Global LLC and the Rich Dad Company, a private financial education company that provides personal finance and business education to people through books and videos.

“A funny thing happens in real estate. When it comes back, it comes back up like gangbusters.”

Barbara Ann Corcoran is an American businesswoman, investor, syndicated columnist, and television personality. She founded The Corcoran Group, a real estate brokerage in New York City, which she sold to NRT for $66 million in 2001 and shortly thereafter exited the company.

“The house you looked at today and wanted to think about until tomorrow may be the same house someone looked at yesterday and will buy today.”

Koki Adasi of Koki & Associates, Inc. and Compass Real Estate serves the D.C. area.

Quotes About Real Estate Agents

“You know what? You can insult a lot of things about me. My hair, my voice, my balance support exercises. But, don’t insult my selling. That crosses a line. What line? Oh, you don’t see it? That’s because I sold it.”

Hopefully your familiar with the hit series Modern Family. The father, Phil, remains a dedicated real estate agent despite more than a few mishaps.

"On my honor, I promise to aid in man’s quest for shelter, to recognize I’m not just in the business of houses — I’m in the business of dreams in the shape of houses. To disclose all illegal additions, shoddy construction, murders, and ghosts. And to put my clients’ needs before my own."

phil dunphy quote about real estate agents

“If you show enough houses, you learn all the tricks. Every realtor is just a ninja in a blazer. The average burglar breaks in and leaves clues everywhere, but not me. I’m completely clueless.”

Quotes for Business Cards

The best quotes for real estate business cards are short and impactful. Here are some great examples.

"Home is the nicest word there is."

Author of the Little Women book series, Laura Ingalls Wilder hits the proverbial nail on the head. Her wise little quote makes for a personal touch to a residential real estate business card.

“You are not buying a house, you are buying a lifestyle.”

You’ve heard it a thousand times, but it’s a classic for a reason.

“Real estate is the purest form of entrepreneurship.”

Brian Buffini, one of the nation’s top realtors, has trained over 3 million business professionals worldwide.

“Landlords grow rich in their sleep.”

Mill was a 19th-century philosopher and extremely influential political economist. This little quote would be great for commercial real estate agents or those catering to investment properties. 

Quotes for Social Media

“The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.”

We sometimes use this quote on client websites to pivot to a contact Call-To-Action. Something like, “The same is true of buying a home. Unless you have a time machine, get in touch today.”

“Home is a shelter from storms — all sorts of storms”

This social media real estate quote is more on the sentimental side. It offers a personal and warm touch. 

“I need your listing, I already sold all of mine.”

Bold and humorous, this anonymous quote is sure to stay tattooed on your client’s minds. It says, “Give my Chernobyl as a listing, I dare you.”

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History of the Top 50 Real Estate Quotes

The history of Abraham Lincolns real estate quote

Abraham Lincoln was the 16th President of the United States. Born February 12th in 1809, he was killed by an assassin’s bullet April 15th, 1865. Lincoln has gone down in history as a humanitarian, a politician and while it is often overlooked as a firm defender of the average Americans right and NEED to own land. He wrote in numerous places about the state’s responsibility to provide a homestead to the average American. I think this would be translated today into every American have the ability to OWN a home. This Abraham Lincoln quote is one of my favorites.

Abraham Lincoln was a socialist before the word had much meaning

Abraham Lincoln Land Quote:

In so far as Government lands can be disposed of, I am in favor of cutting up the wild lands into parcels, so that every poor man may have a home.

The history of Akira Mori’s Real Estate Quote

Akira Mori is the President and CEO of Mori Trust. One of the handful of people that made this list that is still alive. You can read the complicated history of the Mori brothers on the link I provided. Akira’s company Mori Trust owns and operates 67 buildings, manages 89 additional buildings in both the residential and commercial real estate space. As of this writing, he is the 5th wealthiest person in Japan with a net worth of approximately 5 billion. The fact that most of that wealth was derived from the real estate business qualify’s him to be on this list.